Keyworth United 9 Priory
Celtic 1
Two out of three ain't bad!!
Following the trauma of last week’s defeat, they tried to
make us go to rehab but we said “no, no, no!” So, instead
of visiting the Priory, Priory came to us and within an
hour our rehabilitation was complete with a comprehensive
victory against a valiant and spirited Celtic.
This was Jekyll and Hyde stuff, going from the ridiculous
to the sublime when, after an abject first half, Keyworth
put on a magical display in the second. Yet it all started
so well! Attacking up the slope, Keyworth took an early
lead when Peter Matthews latched onto Danny Hardy’s through
ball and calmly slotted home at the near post. With only
ten men, Priory must have feared the worst, but anyone
expecting a rout was jumping the gun as Priory fought
magnificently and, working hard as a team, forced an
equaliser from a rare excursion into Keyworth territory. A
long range effort was deflected for a corner and Neilson’s
in-swinging kick glanced off the head of the unfortunate
Douglas McConachie at the near post and flew high into the
net. This stirred Keyworth into life, but despite going
close through Reece, Tommo and Josh and the visiting keeper
making a spectacular save to deny Danny’s rasper, the
Greens never looked like scoring. All revved up with no
place to go, we were toiling! Too many misplaced passes;
failure to release the ball quickly and a forward line that
was more offside than a Glenn McGrath field setting - for
crying out loud, this was basic stuff!
The half time team talk was more of a wake up call. Enter
Simon Farndale who told them to buck their ideas up -
Simon, you took the words right out of my mouth! Our
disjointed first half performance lacked cohesion and
creativity but while perhaps a little complacent, in
fairness, was more the result of a failure to work smartly
than any bad attitude.
Demanding more effort and thought
in the second period, I finished off with a plea to the
boys not to make me miserable that afternoon as it was my
wedding anniversary - after 18 years didn’t they think that
Vanessa deserved a break? She’s a modern girl and pretty
resilient, but, as she’ll willingly testify, forced to
endure hours of Misery Malc isn’t a good place to be!
This masterstroke of emotional blackmail worked instantly!
Evidence of the boys’ sympathy with my wife’s plight was
provided immediately on restart. Josh set Lewis free some
forty yards out. Off went Lewis like a bat out of Hell,
tearing down on goal before smashing a low drive into (and
through!) the net to put us back in front. Shortly
afterwards it was 3-1. Josh worked the ball to Danny on the
left. With all expecting a cross, Danny checked and fired a
cracker into the top corner before the goalie could blink.
A delightful fourth soon followed. Danny combining superbly
with Josh, whose left foot cross (yes - left foot!!) was
skilfully met with a controlled short range volley past the
keeper by the onrushing Lewis. Keyworth were rampant and
extended their lead when, following Ben’s deft header
forward, the Dunkley express stormed in to crash home the
loose ball for a fine hat-trick.
This was now exhibition stuff and everyone wanted a piece
of the action! Peter Hennessy was next, only to see his
twenty yard effort disallowed for offside. Lewis then
tapped in a sixth for the Greens after Danny’s fierce shot
had been well saved and Douglas showed silky skills before
firing a shot against the post from a tight angle, but a
seventh duly arrived when Josh got the goal his improved
performance deserved, blasting into the roof of the net
from ten yards. Sam Clements then collected the ball in
midfield and glided effortlessly past two tackles before
pulling back from the by-line for Douglas to gleefully slot
home our eighth. There was then just enough time left for a
rejuvenated Tommo to get in on the act - set free by Josh,
he expertly drew the keeper out and fired into the far
corner to make it 9-1 at the whistle.
A remarkable performance and, in the end, well earned
victory in which Lewis, Josh and Cian shone out. A few more
performances like that second half and I’ll be in football
Heaven! For the moment though Heaven can wait - we first
have to develop a level of consistency and take games by
scruff of neck from the outset.
Still, with two wins from
our first three games, my job should be safe for another
week, unlike a certain high profile Portuguese!
Did you hear that Chelsea launched a new perfume in the
week?...it’s called the Special One by U Go Boss!
No perfume required at Keyworth though, we prefer the sweet
smell of success - long may it linger!
